Creative Parenting

I've learned that children start testing you at a very early age!  It's part of their nature and completely developmentally appropriate but it doesn't make it easy for parents.  Lately, I have found myself being as creative as I can to get my sweet 18 month old daughter to do certain things.  Allow me to explain.

Lets first talk about meal time. While I try hard not to stress too much about how much Leah eats at a meal (and more importantly if she has had a well-balanced meal), I can't help but be a little concerned about her nutrition. There are days when she only has a bite or two at each meal, so I think it's understandable that I would try new ways to get her to eat. The first thing I did was offer "dips" for her food:  yogurt, honey and ketchup.  The dips were a huge hit (and mess).  They haven't worked complete miracles but I will say, they have gotten her to take several more bites at each meal!  I'm still working on dealing with the mess they cause but that's another story...

I've also started giving Leah a spoon and a fork at meals, so that she can "try" to pick up her own food.  As with the dips, the novelty of utensils is very helpful in getting her to eat a few extra bites of her food. She loves having independence, so although letting her control the utensils usually results in a much larger mess (yet again), it does get her to eat some more food.  Plus, it's an important skill she needs to master.

Brushing her teeth is another area where I've had to sort of "think outside the box."  The first couple of months we brushed Leah's teeth, she was fine. She opened her mouth willingly and let us brush for as long we wanted (and of course she always got a "turn").  Recently, however, brushing her teeth has been a struggle, as she clenches her mouth shut as soon as we show her the toothbrush.  We have asked her to show us her tongue, we tickle her to make her laugh...pretty much do anything we can to get her to open her mouth.  It seemed we couldn't outsmart her.  So, I brought her step stool into the bathroom and let her stand on the stool at the sink while I brushed her teeth.  She loves it! When I tell her it's time to brush her teeth, she runs to the bathroom and hurries to get on her stool. Amazing how the stool has transformed brushing her teeth into a much more cooperative experience!

Leah loves bath time.  She squeals and laughs when I turn on the water, and she tries getting into the tub even before her clothes are off. Well, as excited as she is when bath time begins, she is equally (if not more) disappointed when I say tubby time is over!  One night, to help distract her from the tragedy she was experiencing, I started waving at the water while excitedly saying "bye bye water" and then I offered her a rubber ducky to take to her room while she got dressed. While she still whines a bit when I start draining the water,  she automatically says goodbye to the water and also looks for a toy to take with her.  Developing this little routine has definitely helped make the end of bath time a little more pleasant!

I don't want to be the kind of mom who "bribes" her child to do things, nor do I want to unnecessarily praise Leah for things that she should simply be doing (such as eating).  However, having a bag of tricks is sometimes necessary and changing the way things are presented is often intriguing to children and effective in changing behaviors.

What are some of your most effective "tricks of the trade" when it comes to parenting?

Making the most of dinnertime

Last night I was doing some reading on the value of family dinners and I thought it was worth sharing.

Various studies show several benefits from eating dinner as a family:

- Families have a stronger emotional connection

- Children are more likely to open up to their parents

- Test scores and overall school performance is increased

- Teens are less likely to drink, smoke or do drugs

Some thoughts on making dinner a valuable time:

As your children get older, involve them in making dinner and cleaning up!  Give them responsibilities (depending on their age) such as putting out the napkins, getting beverages or scraping off the plates. This makes dinner a more cooperative experience and children will appreciate it more because they were involved in making it happen.

It is important to get everyone talking during dinner. Give each member of your family a chance to share something from his or her day.  Parents should also share!  If you want, you could have a question that each person answers-  but do not use a question that has a yes/no answer.  Examples include: What was the best part of your day?  Or, What made today special?  Specific questions will elicit better responses.  

One thing that many parents (and teens) will really struggle with is turning off the phones- or at least keeping them away from the kitchen table. Show your children that they are worth uninterrupted time. A phone call or text notification could really be distracting and make a child lose their train of thought.

We really want to make dinnertime an exciting and important time for our family.  Leah is young and I know she can't fully appreciate our conversation at dinner. However, 6 out 7 nights a week, we sit down at the table to eat.  Consistency and routines are so important for children.  Even though Leah doesn't fully comprehend what we are doing and why we are doing it, we always make a point of saying "Ok Leah, it's dinner time so we are going to sit at the table." We know she understands what is happening because she walks right over to her high chair.   So, even at a young age, it is possible to get kids into a routine and make a habit of dinnertime.

After a long day, it is easy to just plop on the couch and get lost in television shows.  Although relaxing is definitely necessary, do not compromise your dinner time.  Make the most out of it and create lasting memories your children will always cherish!