Independent Play

I love my daughter more than words can say. She makes me laugh and smile more than anyone else (well her daddy does a lot, too).  When I see her learn something new, tears fill my eyes.  Honestly, I can't imagine my life without her.  Since I work full time, I try to spend as much time with her as possible at night and on the weekends.   I could care less about "me" time and hardly ever make plans that involve me leaving her. I focus all of my time and energy on her when I am home and really try to make the most of the little time I have with her. I am off this week for spring break and have been looking forward for weeks to be with Leah. I had little planned for my week off because I simply wanted to be at home lovin' on my girl.

Being with her all week, however, has made me wonder if I am spending "too" much time with her.  I hate even thinking that it is possible to spend too much time with her but she has become extremely possessive of me and won't do anything without me (which secretly makes me feel really good)! She won't sit and play if I am not with her. When I put the gate up in our family room so I could go into the kitchen to make dinner, she just sat by the gate, holding her blankie, sucking her thumb and occasionally calling out some form of "mom." She has more toys than 1 child alone needs so I was shocked that she couldn't find something to do during the 10 minutes I was out of the room starting dinner.  I am realizing that perhaps I have caused this by giving her 100%, undivided attention to her every moment I am home.  Children need a balance of independent play, play with other children and play with parents (or other family members. Leah has a ton of playtime with her parents and other children but perhaps not enough independent play.

 Since I am off this week, I don't feel too badly making her have some "alone" time.  But when I go back to work on Monday, this will not work. When I am driving from work, all I can think about is playing with her and I can't imagine coming home and leaving her in her playroom to play alone!  She needs her mommy time and I need my Leah time!

However, the last thing I want to have is a child who is incapable of entertaining herself. I don't want Leah to "need" someone to entertain her. Selfishly, I am unwilling to give up my desire to be with her at night and on the weekend. So, I am going to start by leaving her in her playroom only while I make dinner.  I have to make dinner, and it is easier to not have her running around the kitchen, taking out pots and pans while I cook. That will give her a little alone time but hopefully I won't feel too guilty leaving her alone.

Although I am a full-time working mom, I am sure that all moms (regardless of whether or not they work) have struggled with a similar situation.  What do you do to balance playing with your child and helping them to learn how to entertaing themselves?