I'd like to think that all parents teach their children manners and how to be respectful. Obviously, I realize that this is not the case and it's very unfortunate. Sometimes, I think parents focus too much about the academic part of development that social skills are given the back burner. While learning to read and having quick recall of basic math facts is really important, they aren't the only things that should be focused on when raising a child. Teaching children manners and proper etiquette should also be a major part of parenting. Modeling these behaviors to help your child know what is appropriate and in some cases, you simply need to tell them what is expected. As a teacher, I spend a lot of time teaching and reminding my students what good manners are and how to show respect to adults and classmates. It can't be expected that children will just know how to do this. Yes, some children might catch on a little quicker than others, but they all need to see and hear what is expected of them.
I recently came across an article, 25 manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9 (thanks for posting, Aileen). As I read through, I agreed with almost all of them and I think it's a good list for parents to read and work on with their children (and most importantly model). I'm not saying Leah will learn all of these by nine. Nine years old seems to be a bit young to master such a comprehensive list of manners but at least we have a goal!
Are there any other manners you would add to this list?
I'll comment on my own posting: One concern I had was with Manner 6: "The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults." The part that bothered me was "between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults." I don't like the idea of children sharing negative opinions between friends because this can lead to gossipy behavior and cliques, which ends up leading to more hurt feelings! I also don't think children should be encouraged to keep negative opinions out of earshot of adults. This is for two reasons: 1) children learn to be two-faced with adults, showing one image to them and one to peers; 2) I do think that at times, it is appropriate for children to voice their negative opinions to adults. For example, if a child didn't like a book that was read in class, I think it's fair for a child to share this and explain what s/he did not like. However, if a child doesn't like a story that a classmate wrote, then this is something that must be kept to him/herself (and certainly not shared with a friend).
ReplyDelete